22 Oct Do I have enough?
Growing up in Mexico, I spent all my Christmases with my paternal grandparents and with many of their fifteen children (my aunts and uncles) and their families. Needless to say, my sisters and I had tons of cousins and amazing holidays. Since all families seemed to have similar financial means, I could not understand why my sisters and I ended up with one toy each, while all our cousins received a few or even several presents. At that time, I did not understand the difference between quality and quantity. As the child I was, I just wanted more.
By the time I reached my late teens, I had a wardrobe full of clothes, shoes, purses, and accessories in color sets, not to mention that I had also been knitting since the age of seven and could make blouses, sweaters, tops, coats, skirts, scarfs, and dresses for myself. I still had to learn the value of quality.
Then, in my early twenties, my financial situation changed. As I struggled to get a roof over our heads and put food on the table, quantity over quality was no longer a concern. We just needed the basics. My family then consisted of my toddler son, Gus, and me. Around that time, I watched the movie Gone with the Wind and embraced the famous “I will never be hungry again” line by Scarlett O’Hara as my personal mantra. I can gratefully say today that we never went hungry again, thank God, but those years of extreme poverty and homelessness created in me a near obsession with having a backup plan for everything.
After I moved to the United States in 1994 through much effort and dedication, my financial situation improved, aided by a good “code of ethics” for savings as well as a frugal lifestyle. I always had enough for emergencies in the bank. Unfortunately, the previous years of scarcity left their mark, and I found it difficult to not obsess over never having to struggle again. For me, the way to compensate those fears was to stock up on basic needs, in case of another family “depression.”
In 2012, when as empty nesters Steven and I moved to Manhattan, we downsized from a 1300-foot three-bedroom townhome to a 650-foot one-bedroom apartment. We moved there with one piece of luggage each and a TV. Soon we bought basic essentials, but it took a couple of years of back and forth between our two homes to get our new place to resemble our previous one. At this stage, given the miles I walked every day and our limited storage space, I started to become concerned not necessarily with brands but with quality. I needed the best walking shoes I could afford! I had finally learned that less CAN be more.
Through a good part of my life, my “preventive overstocking” extended to my personal relationships and commitments. I have a hard time saying no. I say yes to requests for help, to volunteer, for information, for referrals, to assist, to socialize (I actually have a saying: “if you don’t want me to come, don’t invite me”), to gatherings, to meetings, to events, etc. Although I do this with the best of intentions, I have found that the overload makes me ineffective in many ways, even if I truly enjoy the thrill of all this constant chaos.
In the last few years, I have tried to declutter my life in every way, but it has been an on-and-off effort. I have found inspiration, either to simplify my life or to embrace minimalist living (better yet, both!) from various sources. In chronological order, these resources changed the way I think of “things”:
- A phrase from my old friend Flo: “Why do you need so many clothes, Hilda? You have only one body!”
- The book Ligero de Equipaje (perhaps Traveling Light can be a good equivalent) by Carlos Gonzalez Valles, which my father shared with me almost two decades ago and which I revisited in 2019.
- A few years ago, my friend and colleague Suzana Martinez gave our team the book The Joy of Less by Francine Jay. This practical book says that everything we own can be categorized as follows: those that are useful, those that are beautiful, and those that have emotional value. Some items are in all three categories.
- A few Christmases ago, my sister Marisa gave me the complete collection of the series Little House on the Prairie. Watching the Ingalls build their first cabin in Walnut Grove, with a small living area that included a table for meals and a fireplace for cooking with two beds behind a column and two upstairs, was refreshing for me. The simplicity of that life and their few possessions, balanced with the emotionally happy existence they enjoyed, made me aspire to that kind of life.
- Finally, my sister Alejandra shared with me What Your Clutter Is Trying to Tell You by Kerri L. Richardson, a book full of excellent practical advice and insights.
Something else I struggle with is my black-and-white mentality. I unfortunately tend to extremes in many areas of my life. I find it hard to identify with grays, such that they become all-or-nothing propositions. As a result, I am afraid that if I start to declutter, I may end up with only a bed, a table, and a few dishes for daily life.
I am trying to listen to that inner voice that urges me to simplify my life in all aspects. I am trying to approach it with caution so that I do not get rid of precious memories from my childhood and that of my son or any of the important items left to me by the people I have loved most, such as my father and paternal grandfather. As in other areas in my life, I am trying to not pressure myself to do anything until I find some balance and understanding of the reasons to take this step. I am also learning to accept my human frailties with compassion and understanding.
Allow me to answer my original question to conclude this post: Do I have enough? Aside from a few years in my early adulthood, I believe I have always had plenty! Reading about history, a passion of mine, and thinking about the struggles all nations have had to endure on the economic front, I see that I, and probably the majority of people reading this post, do have enough. Now, do we have too much? I think that is something we all need to decide for ourselves. I am still working on it!
Hilda Zavala is a state certified/approved Spanish court interpreter and translator with more than thirteen years of experience in legal, medical, corporate, and non-profit settings in New York, New Jersey, Illinois, and Wisconsin. She is a board member, treasurer, and Conference Committee chair of the National Association of Judiciary Interpreters and Translators as well as former president of the New York Circle of Translators. She is an active and voting member of NAJIT, ATA, the NYCT and other professional groups. Hilda has two certificates of Legal Interpreting: Spanish/English, the latest one from NYU. Hilda has been a Staff Interpreter at Essex County Superior Court in New Jersey for over 5 years. Born in Chicago, Hilda lived for 20 years in Mexico and loves traveling. She continuously looks for opportunities to promote and advance the interpreting profession. Contact: email@example.com
Main photo by Eric Nixon from Pexels. Body photo by ekklesiadefe from Pixabay.
19 thoughts on “Do I have enough?”
Thank you for this lovely reflection, Hilda.
It is my pleasure, Elaine! I enjoy writing. It cleanses and renews my soul. 🙂
Awesome read! Glad to know we were not the only ones and we can change. On point with baby steps. Good luck to you!
Thank you, Annette. I love challenges and this one is no different. I appreciate your good luck wishes!
Thank you Hilda for the helpful and inspiring article!
Thank you! I am glad you found the blog inspiring. That is a win win situation as I really enjoy the process of writing.
This is a poignant story, Hilda. Thank you for sharing. My mother always talks about how she doesn’t want to be a “slave to her possessions.” Yet of course there’s a happy medium between all and nothing, and I suppose our life’s journey is to find it by focusing on what matters most. Having spent the last few months travelling with only 25 pounds in a backpack, my eyes truly have been opened to what I really need, and what home can look like when your location changes every day. Good luck on your continued journey.
Thank you, Athena! I am getting a chance to start again at a new address starting this weekend and I am only taking a capsule wardrobe, larger than your typical 10-25 items but small for me. I am also only taking essentials for now and will be careful of everything I bring into my now home. You inspire me, Athena! Meditating is the next step once I get ahold of my clutter. Or maybe I should follow advice about not waiting for the black and white (all or nothing) option and embrace a little gray. 😉
I was once told that “The wealthy man is not he who has the most, but the one who lacks the least.” (I think it makes just a tiny little more sense in Spanish: “El rico no es el que más tiene, sino al que menos le falta.”)
Wonderful reflection, Hilda!
I love that saying! Thank you for sharing.
I enjoyed reading your post Hilda, and it resonates with a recent commentary I heard in reference to a line of The Lord’s Prayer: “Give us this day our daily bread” to mean one pound of bread, not 50 pounds to freeze and store for times of uncertainty. The big temptation during those times is trying to address what might happen without knowing exactly what will happen. We end up creating contradictory possible futures and living in a state of angst and anxiety. Most of us, freelancers, need to remind ourselves daily that we have enough.
Yes! That is what I have always known and yet I struggle to put it in practice. I can think of so many passages in the bible that talk about trusting the lord! Thank you for your words. Inspiring.
Thank you for your interesting story, Hilda. As I was reading it, I found myself in many stages of it, and like you, I reflected on the “do I have enough” question. I remembered I had two main reasons for coming to the USA: to escape the restraints and the hardship forced upon us by the totalitarian regime and to reunite with my family who came here before me. We too, empty nesters, (two dogs, no grandkids) started downsizing and decluttering. I finally realized the answer to the question: “do I have enough”: when I feel comfortable, I have enough. I know now, that I can’t control the future, that I will always cherish those survival traits I learned as a child, and I will probably never be satisfied with just the bare minimum and I’m OK with that.
It takes acceptance to feel that way. That’s exactly what I am looking for. To feel comfortable. And if I have more than I really need to not feel guilty about it. Thanks for sharing.
A Vow for Health & Joy
I vow to offer joy
to one person in the morning
and to help relieve the grief
of one person in the afternoon.
I vow to live simply and sanely,
content with just a few possessions,
and to keep my body healthy.
I vow to let go
of all worries and anxiety
in order to be light and free.
– Thich Nhat Hanh
That “light and free” part is a beautiful goal. Wresting ourselves form the clutches of having to acquire, maintain and reluctantly use (due to sunk cost fallacy) more and more things, which ultimately wind up “justifying” our absence from doing that which we know would actually be meaningful.
Love those goals: To have an existence that is light, free and meaningful. I would add peaceful. Thank you!
Wonderful post – thank you!!
Thanks for reading my post!
Hilda, this was a very encouraging article at this moment as I’m trying to declutter my home and life. Thank you and miss you!